


‘Torture’ or ‘Specialized Fun’

by BlackIris



Series: Fucking February 2018 [11]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Deadpool (2016), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fucking February 2018, Steve is a little shit, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 23:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13646739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackIris/pseuds/BlackIris
Summary: Fucking FebruaryDay 11: Torture





	‘Torture’ or ‘Specialized Fun’

**Author's Note:**

> Weird little drabble that got taken over by a sassy asshole in red paints. Here you go Nonny, thanks for the inspiration and I hope you enjoy it.  
> Un'beta'd, as always.

Darcy huffs opening the fridge door. She grabs a water bottle, opens it, drinks half of it, and closes the fridge with a groan. She moves to table, pulling the chair out with a whine before plopping down with a grunt, dropping her head onto her arms and mumbling angrily. 

Steve sits across from her, watching amusedly, his paper long forgotten with her dramatic entrance. 

“I take it the date didn’t go well?” 

“No!” comes a muffled shout from Darcy. “It was fucking terrible, nothing well about it, except it ending.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Darce.” Steve states calmly, though the smirk in his tone is hard to miss. 

“Uh, huh. ‘S your fault too.”

“How is it my fault?” He has the indecency to sound hurt, causing Darcy to lift her head and scoff at him. 

“You set me up!” She throws an arm out at him, pointing him out, even though they’re the only two in the room. 

“Yeah,” Steve chortles, “on a date.”

“I trusted you, you traitor!” Her voice going squeaky. “It was horrible, he was an absolute jerk!” 

“I don’t know what to say, Darce. He seemed like a nice guy.” 

“Yeah. Right. You’d think that if Captain Freaking America sets you up on a date that the dude would at least be half decent. What happened to your moral compass?”

“It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“It was torture, Steve! Torture!”

“Roll credits!” Wade chimes happily as he strolls through the kitchen. 

“Wilson.” Steve nods.

“Cap-a-roony-doony.” Wade beams a wicked smile to Steve as he sits down next to Darcy. “It’s okay, Little Double D, I couldn’t help but over hear your severe plight.” Darcy huffs and rolls her eyes at him. “So. You wanna get set up on a real date?” 

“Not with your lumpy ass, if that’s what you mean.” 

“Oh, sweetheart that’s no way to talk to your personal dating savior.” 

Darcy eyes him skeptically for a moment. She shrugs, giving into her curiosity. “Well, can’t be worse than the list of crappy list of who’s who, that Stevie’s been somehow dragging me through. Who’s the guy?” 

“You’ll love him. He’s a total ass, but truly a gentleman when it counts.” 

“That’s not as helpful as you think it is Wade-asaur.”

“Let me paint you a word picture! He’s grumpier than Steve, drinks more coffee than Barton. Can drink Tony under the table, but that’s just cuz he’s enhanced, and not just in the pants!” 

“Dude.”

“What? It rhymes, kinda, so it’s true! Oh. Also. He’s old a fuck, but you won’t mind. And it’ll bother you that you don’t mind.”

“Oh god, it’s not Logan is it? He’s like the grumpy uncle I never had.”

“No, no, he hasn’t aged since 2008, maybe even earlier.” Wade pauses, staring directly into the wall and wiggling his eyebrows, confusing Steve and Darcy, but amusing everyone else. “It’s not old man Logan. But I do like to call your future beaux Old Man Winter when he lets me brush out his hair and gab about the bachelor.” He states dreamily. 

Darcy rolls her eyes again. “Whatever, dude, as long as he’s not a total ass.”

Steve hides his smile behind his paper. He’s been in on Wade’s plot of ‘Specialized Fun’ to set up Darcy with Bucky since the beginning.


End file.
